


A Home For You

by shethenightwolf



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Angst and Feels, Arguing, Emotional Baggage, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Getting to Know Each Other, Hurt/Comfort, Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27803638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shethenightwolf/pseuds/shethenightwolf
Summary: Living in a world of infected, you are on your own. For a long time, you have been living on your own, capable of taking care of yourself without any help. However, one day it changes and you are forced to accept the help from a stranger, who, in order to save you from dying, takes you to his people.You are put in a position where you can choose: to walk away or give this place a chance and start a completely new life, different than the one you have always known.
Relationships: Joel (The Last of Us)/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	1. Intruder

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Reader insert fic I've wanted to write for a while now. I feel like I have to get this idea out of my head and I like writing Reader insert where I personalize it a little, so it works better for the plot and generally, the story.
> 
> What is important for the start is that Reader in this story is in her early thirties because I don't want the age gap between her and Joel to be too big. :)
> 
> I'd love to hear what you think, so comments and feedback are truly appreciated! I hope you enjoy it!

** AUTUMN **

Pain.

The sharp pain was spreading through your leg and it was the only thing you could think of when you opened up your eyes, surrounded by what was left of the wooden cabin that had just collapsed on you.

You heard that unpleasant ringing in your ears and when you looked up at your calf, you found out why it hurt so much. 

It was really bad.

You hissed when you tried to move your leg; there was a metal rod coming through it, so there was no chance you could walk with it. You could barely crawl, not mentioning getting up on your feet.

You should not have cleared this cabin on your own; you knew how dangerous it could be, but still, you decided to try. You did not expect it to collapse, though. This was something that was nowhere on the agenda.

“God,” you moaned, crawling from under the few wooden planks. “Help!” you cried out, knowing there was no one out there. No one would help you. You were on your own out there, responsible for your reckless actions. 

The dirt was everywhere so you began coughing, after trying to take a deep breath and calm yourself a little in this unfortunate situation. The pain in your calf was now pulsating, and you could feel the warm blood spread on the material of your jeans, making you wish there had been something you could do to stop it. You propped yourself on your elbows and took another look at the wound, quickly turning away at the sight of it. 

“Is someone there?” You heard a loud man’s voice coming from afar.

A miracle.

It was a goddamn miracle.

“I’m… I’m here!” you shouted back, instantly reaching for the gun holstered in your waistband and turning yourself towards the source of the sound. “Who… Who are you?” You pointed the gun at the man who had appeared in your sight a few seconds later. 

“Hey, easy--My name is Tommy and I just want to help,” the stranger replied, raising his hands and showing to you that he meant no harm. “What happened here?” he asked, examining carefully you and the place around. “What--oh, your leg,” he had noticed before he managed to ask another question.

“Yeah, I know,” you said, putting your gun down. “I… I wanted to clear this place from infected and I did, but I didn’t think about the fact that this cabin has been destroyed for years. Soon after I killed the last one of them, the ceiling collapsed and the walls followed.”

“I see,” the man nodded and he crouched by your calf, taking a closer look at your wound. “It doesn’t look good. It’s bleeding pretty bad… I won’t be able to pull it out here. Try not to move it, okay?” 

“O-okay,” you replied in a trembling voice. 

“I haven’t seen anyone around in a while. What are you doing out here all alone? Doesn’t matter... I’m going to take you to the place where I live and we’re going to help you there. How does it sound to you?” he kept talking, but you were not paying much attention till he asked about taking you to his people. 

“No, no, I… I don’t want to be a burden,” you fired back, meaning what you were saying. “Just… Help me get this thing out of my leg and we’ll both go separate… Fuck, this thing hurts!”

“I know, but try… Hey listen to me, you’ll be alright. My people and I will take care of you and…” 

“I don’t want you to help me… I’m good on my own,” you hissed and then realised with every breath you took, it was harder for you to breathe.

“You’re gonna bleed out if I get this rod out of your leg and don’t take you with me,” he opposed, “and if I don’t pull it out it can get a lot worse…”

You did not hear what he was saying next as out of sudden, you were not able to keep your eyes open any longer. You did not know what was going on; you were powerless. The world was turning darker and darker till you eventually blacked out.

* * *

_ Wake up. _

_ You’re safe now. _

Were you dreaming or was it real? You recognised the voice the moment you heard, but you could not tell if you had been fully conscious back then. The only thing you knew was definitely real was the pain, coming both from your head and calf.

You lazily opened up your eyes, letting the light blind you for a few seconds before you adjusted to it. You had no clue where you were, surrounded by the place you had never seen before. 

It was a small bedroom with green walls, light wooden floor and a big bright window right in front of a king-sized bed you were lying on. It was cosy and clean; something you did not expect to see after practically living in the woods for the last few months.

It felt surreal. 

“Have you lost your goddamn mind, Tommy?” The doors of the bedroom were ajar, so you could hear voices coming from outside clearly. “What were you thinking? You can’t bring here a complete stranger, it’s not safe and… Why did you even agree on helping her in the first place?”

“I haven’t seen a soul around here for months! I heard her calling for help and I just… Helped! Is it that bad I want to help others when they’re in a need? That’s why Maria and I made this place!” Tommy replied in an angry tone. “You have no rights to decide whether she can be here or not. It’s on me, not you. Do I have to remind you that you were in the same position as her not so long ago?”

“First of all, I’m your brother--”

“Yes, you are, but it doesn’t matter here! If I didn’t trust anyone, Jackson wouldn’t be a community right now! You should learn to trust people a tiny bit and to get to know them before you make a judgement...”

“Oh god, you’re such a fool! Haven’t you learnt a single thing through all these years?”

“It’s not your call whether what’s gonna happen to her.”

“I really don’t want to say  _ I told you so, _ Tommy, but you’re asking for it,” the other man barked and a sound of slamming doors followed his words. 

It was certain they were talking about you. 

After all, you were an intruder. 

That was the reason why you were so hesitant about staying in places where you did not belong in the first place. 

That was the reason why at some point you decided to be on your own; being a burden for someone was never something you wanted and loneliness, no matter how overwhelming at times, was better than being somewhere you were not welcomed. 

You glanced at your bandaged calf - your jeans were ripped, but there was no metal rod there anymore. They had to have a doctor here, otherwise, no one else could pull it out this easily and well. Someone had to clean you a little bit as there was no dirt on your hands, arms and face anymore.

“You’re awake.” The familiar voice sounded again as Tommy walked into the room. “How do you feel?” he asked, carefully sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Better,” you responded, trying to sit up, but giving up after a pain spread through your whole leg. “How… How long was I sleeping?” you asked, trying to hide the fact you were in pain.

“A day,” he replied shortly. “I know you said you don’t want my help, but I couldn’t leave you out there.”

“It looks to me as if you had a thing for damsels in distress,” you marked, looking at the man in his late thirties, maybe early forties, and smiled gently when you noticed his cheeks reddened a bit. He shook his head and brushed his brown stubble on his chin. “Thank you,” you added after a minute or so, “even if I didn’t want it, that was what I needed.”

“I’m glad I could help,” Tommy said when it got silent between you again, “but in all that mess I forgot to ask you about your name.”

“It’s Y/N,” you responded, “but everyone used to call me Hope after my mom. She was always saying when I was born, I gave her hope that her life could be different, but my father insisted on Y/N.”

“So, which one do you prefer?”

“Hope is okay, but if you call me by my real name I won’t mind,” you assured him. “Listen, I… I truly appreciate your help and everything you’ve done to bring me here, but… I don’t want to be a burden. I meant that.”

“You’re not a burden.”

“I’ve heard your conversation with someone outside. You may not see it this way, but I’m a problem here,” you sighed. “An intruder.”

“You’re someone new for sure,” Tommy told you, “but we all were new at some point.”

You shook your head. “You don’t know a thing about me, but you still decided to help a woman in the middle of the woods… Thing is…. I’m not used to someone not seeing me as a threat.”

“My wife and I like to think there are still good people out there. Besides, you needed help,” he said, “and I took all your guns away after you pointed one at me. You know, just in case.”

“Yeah, that seems reasonable,” you agreed. “When will I be able to… You know, get up on my feet?” You pointed your chin at your calf. 

“Well, in a few days, but there are no promises. Our doctor says you have to lay down for a while and rest… You can’t move your leg much, can you?” he asked and you shook your head in response. “There’s no need for you to overuse it, Hope. My brother might not share my opinion, but you’re welcome here even if it doesn’t feel like it just yet.”

“I..."

“You should rest,” he had interjected before you could protest. “I have to leave you for now, but Maria is going to check on you later and tell you more about this place.”

“Who’s Maria?” You were confused, having many questions you wanted to ask him, but knowing it might not be the best time.

“My wife,” Tommy responded instantly and, before he left the room, he had added: "I'm sure you'll like her." 

You did not reply.

It was a lot to process, but you had a lot of time to think about it all, because whether you wanted it or not, for the next few days you were grounded. As long as you could not move or stand, you had to stay in this place. 

_ Jackson _ .

And maybe, just maybe, this man, Tommy, was right about one thing. 

You needed some more rest because soon after he had left, you fell back asleep. 


	2. Allies

Maria was, indeed, a very kind woman. 

She came to you not long after Tommy had left, bringing something to eat and some clean clothes for you with her, waking you up from a very short nap. 

“You have to eat and when you feel better, it would be nice if you had some clothes change into, right?” she asked softly after she had introduced herself to you and placed a plate on the nightstand. 

For a short moment, she was not saying anything. She was looking at you carefully, thinking what else she could say so it would not turn out awkward. 

You took this moment to get a closer look at her, too. 

She was a woman in her late thirties, maybe early forties, but you could not tell precisely as her face still had this glow; her eyes were blue, and her hair was blonde, which made her look pretty. She smiled at you gently and, once she rolled up the sleeves of her jeans jacket, she sat at the edge of the bed. 

“How are you feeling?” she questioned, moving away a bit and keeping this safe distance between you. 

“I’m okay. Relatively, but still, okay,” you responded and smiled back at her, not being sure if that was the right thing to do. “I’ve already thanked Tommy, but I would like to thank you, too,” you added. “You seem to have an important role here.”

“I’m one of the founders,” she told you, “but so is Tommy. We’ve been building this place for years, trying to make it a home for survivors or at least, a place to stay.”

“That’s very noble of you.” 

“Well, this story is more complicated than it seems, but I’ll leave that for another time,” Maria said and, her sight moved to your left calf. “Can you move your toes?” You nodded in response. “Good. You should be back on your feet in a few days.”

“I hope so,” you told her. “I don’t want to stay here longer than I have to, Maria. I appreciate your hospitality, I truly do, but... This isn’t a place for me.”

“Why do you think so? You didn’t even give it a try,” she countered immediately.

“I’ve heard Tommy’s conversation with… I don’t know, his brother? It was pretty tense if you ask me, but I quickly realised I’m not welcomed here.” 

“Goddamn Joel,” Maria rolled up her eyes. “You know what? I’ll give you a friendly piece of advice - don’t listen to my brother-in-law. He’s been through a lot and… Generally, he’s a grouch.”

“A grouch?” You could not help a chuckle. “I think he’s concerned and I can’t blame him. I’m an intruder in your community…”

“It’s because people don’t know you yet,” Maria interjected. “People are usually afraid of what they don’t know.”

“You and Tommy seem not to be afraid.” 

“We’re not,” she smiled. “If we were, we wouldn’t be able to build this place… At some point, we had to learn to trust people. This world is crazy, but I want to believe there are still some good people out there.”

“You two are believers.” 

“We definitely are.” 

There was a moment of a deafening silence between you, so you used it to change your body position and eventually managed to prop yourself on your elbows. 

“Aren’t you scared… I’m the bad one?” you asked, breathing heavily as every inch of your body hurt. 

“You? Tommy found you all alone under the ruins of some old cabin,” Maria responded. “It’s not what I expect from a villain.”

You both laughed. 

“Besides, we took away your guns,” she added, “and I don’t think you could take us all down with your fists. Not in that state, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, everything hurts,” you grimaced. “I can move my leg and toes, so I consider it a good sign even if it doesn’t look or feel well.”

“You were lucky this cabin didn’t crush you. Metal rod coming through your calf isn’t that bad when you think of what else could’ve happened.”

“It isn’t,” you agreed, “but it wasn’t the most pleasant experience in my life.”

“I bet it wasn’t,” she fired back. “Hope?”

“Yes?”

“I hope you don't mind me, but... Why were you out there all alone?” Maria asked and caught you off guard. You knew someone would ask you about it at some point, but you did not know it would happen this soon. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s just… Unexpected to see a woman alone out there.”

“I… I, um… I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it just yet, Maria,” you responded then swallowed loudly, feeling your throat running dry. “You don’t have to worry, though. I’m a lone wolf,” you assured her, hoping she would stop digging for now. 

You were not ready to talk about your past with anyone just yet. These memories, they were all like open wounds; they needed some time to heal and you did, too.

“I’m not worrying,” Maria told you. “I was… I was just curious. I’m sorry if I moved too far. Tommy always says I want to know everything about everyone and he’s right. That’s exactly what I do even if I know I shouldn't.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t move too far. I’m just… Not ready.” 

“Sure,” she nodded. “In that case, I’m gonna postpone the interrogation. Oh, and just so you know, you’re gonna stay in our house till you’re back on your feet.”

“And what’s gonna happen after I'm back on my feet?” 

“We’re going to find you a place here. Your place,” she specified. “Of course, don’t feel any pressure. Don’t even think about it for now. All you have to do is rest.”

“Thanks, Maria.”

“Don’t thank me just yet,” she smirked. “We won’t be keeping you here by force, that’s for sure. However, you mentioned something about being a lone wolf, right?” The woman got up from the bed and approached the window, looking through it and then coming back to you with her eyes. “Wouldn't you consider joining the pack one day?”

You opened up your mouth to speak, but she stopped you with the gesture of her hand. “Don’t answer it now. Just wait to see this place. Jackson. I think you’re going to like it,” she said, stepping to the doors. “We’re gonna check on you every few hours, so don’t worry about anything. We got you.” 

And before you could thank her again, she left.

* * *

Maria was not lying when she told you that you would like Jackson. 

This place was unbelievable. 

People were walking on the streets and living their calm lives. They also had electricity here, so the nights were not so dark anymore and, truth to be told, you could not believe you slept the whole night through without waking up even once.

You could get used to that, though.

It felt amazing to be in such a place where you could take a hot shower and walk outside without being afraid of your life all the time. 

After a few days in Maria and Tommy’s house, you could walk again; it was more hobbling than actual walking, but you enjoyed being back on your feet. These few days of being locked down were tough, but the feeling of the cold, autumn air on your face, once you left their house, was indescribable. 

You were alive, and you could not remember the last time you were this happy. 

The day you got back on your feet was also the day Tommy took you out on a stroll around Jackson. He showed you the main spots such as the bakery, butcher, the main bar and the barn. They even had a daycare here, which was even more surprising. You kept your mouth slightly opened all the time while you were watching the civilisation they had built, could not quite believe your eyes.

Truth to be told, you had no idea such a place existed in this harsh world. At first glance, it was like a dream come true; a perfect place to stay and to settle down. To start a new life; a life you have always dreamed of. 

“What do you think?” Tommy asked you out of sudden as you were walking down Rancher Street. 

“About Jackson?”

He nodded in response.

“Well, I had no idea a place like this has any right to exist in this world,” you responded. “You and Maria put much effort into it, didn’t you?”

“It wasn’t just us two,” he said. “Originally, it was her father’s idea. Then, with time, when people started to come here… All of us put much effort into making this place and keeping it safe.”

“You have a strong sense of community here.”

“It's hard to deny it,” Tommy smiled. 

You continued walking for a moment when the cold wind blew, making you shiver as you did not have a jacket on you. “Here,” he said instantly, taking off his worn-out jacket and handing it to you. “You don’t want to catch a cold, do you?”

“I just got out of bed, so that would be unfortunate,” you marked and took a jacket from him, quickly putting it on you. “Thanks,” you said to Tommy. “I hope Maria won’t mind.”

“She likes you,” he replied, “and you two seem to have a lot in common. Whenever someone new shows up, she spends some time with this person to get to know them, but with you, she outdid herself. She was visiting you twice a day, which was pretty much unusual.”

“Well, you have a lovely wife,” you told him. “I can’t remember the last time someone has been this nice to me. I'm even starting to think I was lucky to get this cabin collapse on me.”

“You’re lucky you got out of this alive,” Tommy countered. “What were you trying to do with this place, anyway? Clearing it from the infected, but what then?”

You bit your bottom lip as you looked down, trying to figure out how to explain it. “The autumn is cold and so is winter,” you started.“I guess just wanted to have four walls and a roof over my head. It didn’t work precisely as I wanted, though. I used to sleep in an abandoned barn last winter, but I… I didn’t like it there.”

“It seems like you’ve been through a lot…”

“Yeah, but… I don’t want to talk about it,” you had cut him off before he could start digging just like Maria did a few days ago. “I’ve learned a lot by being out there, but it also cost me a lot.”

He did not reply. 

You continued your walk till you reached one of a few houses near the cemetery and then, Tommy stopped, pointing his chin at the two-floored house. 

“What do you think about this one?”

“And what should I think?” You did not quite catch what he meant. “It’s a house and it’s… Pretty big.”

“Do you like it?” Suddenly, you heard Maria’s voice coming from behind your back. “If you do, this place can be yours. Well, theoretically, but still.”

Oh, so that was about it. 

“I do,” you responded, “but it doesn’t mean anything.” You folded your arms and gave them both a meaningful look. “I know I promised you to think about it, but… I haven’t made up my mind yet.”

“You can keep thinking in this house,” Maria marked. “Since you’re able to walk again, I don’t see the reason why you would have to stay in our house for any longer. By the way, is this Tommy’s jacket?” She glared at her husband. 

“What?” he asked, completely clueless, and she rolled up her eyes. 

“Fine,” you told them, trying to prevent the upcoming argument between them. “I’ll be thinking in this pretty house,” you added and quickly took off Tommy’s jacket. You handed it to him, sending him a weak smile. "So, I just have to grab my things from your place and take them here?”

“Yes,” Maria responded, and for a moment, she seemed to forget about how pissed she was at Tommy. “You can ask Joel to help. He lives next door.”

“I’m good,” you fired back. “I don’t have much to carry, so I think I got this,” you explained, not wanting to sound rude. 

“Alright. For the record, you can use everything in the house. The key to the front door is under the wiper, so you could lock it, but I doubt anyone will disturb you in there.”

“Okay,” you responded. “I’m just gonna have a quick look then."

“Sure,” they said almost simultaneously. 

You walked away, feeling their eyes on you till you approached the doors of your house and began searching for the key. 

When you got up to insert the key into the lock, you noticed not only Maria and Tommy were watching you. With a corner of your eye, you saw Joel standing on the porch of his house and from the look of his face, you knew he was not pleased.

Well, you definitely were not a neighbour he wished he had. 

But you were the one he got nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, there will be much more of Joel in the next chapter, but for now, I had to get you a closer look at the relationships Hope has with Maria and Tommy and also at her (aka yours) mysterious past in this story. Let me know what you think so far! 😊


	3. Settling In

The first night you got to spend in your new place was awful. It was cold, and it started raining the moment you went to bed, tucking yourself with a quilt and a blanket, but it did not help much. 

The sound of raindrops hitting hard in your window was making it impossible for you to fall asleep. You were staring blankly at the ceiling, trembling from cold and crying, because it was all too much for you to handle.

It was not something unusual - you had your better and worse days, and sometimes crying was the only option to let go of all of the emotions you could not cope with. 

You knew it was probably absurd to cry now, considering you had a roof over your head, a place to sleep and you did not have to worry about your life. However, this situation was new for you, and maybe, it overwhelmed you, just like this deafening silence, interrupted only by the raindrops hitting the window cell.

You rolled onto your back and sighed deeply. 

What were you doing? It was not a place for you. You did not belong in Jackson, no matter how kind Maria and Tommy were towards you. Besides, you could not help, but think the days of Maria’s kindness towards you were soon to be over. You were not a master at relationships, but you could sense when something was wrong between two people and this time, you could be this something.

God, you should have known better not to take this jacket from Tommy. 

It would be much better to catch a cold than experience Maria’s glare on Tommy and then yourself even if she did not admit it to any of you. 

Just to be clear, you felt nothing towards Tommy. You liked him, but there was nothing more between you two than sympathy and gratitude for saving your life back then. It was hard to tell how he felt, though, but it did not matter. He was Maria’s wife, and you respected that. You respected Maria, who had shown you nothing but kindness since you appeared in this place.

You had to be more careful at this kind of delicate matter.

If you wanted to stay in this place, you could not make such mistakes. You had nowhere else to go. You could not be this woman's enemy, that was certain, even if it cost you Tommy’s friendship. 

This place had its hierarchy, and you had to accept it. Not that you had a problem with that. Almost your whole life was about adapting to places you were in. This time was no different.

Another place. Another rule. 

That was the way things were.

* * *

A few days passed calmly as nothing much was going in Jackson or behind the walls. You took this time to recover, feeling your calf getting better and better every day and you could not be happier your leg would finally be like brand new again.

Somehow, the choice of staying in Jackson for a while came to you naturally. You were spending much time in your house or on the porch, reading books that you found on the shelves in your living room. That was when you realised that whoever had lived here before you was definitely a bookworm. The number of books in this house was insane. You figured this person also enjoyed the lazy evenings on the porch with a cup of tea and a good book. 

Generally, the house you got to live in was really cosy even if it has two floors. The living room and a small kitchen were on the ground floor, and upstairs there was your bedroom, a spare room with basically nothing inside of it except an empty closet and a bathroom. This place was definitely too big for one person, but you could not complain. It was more than you ever had, and even your neighbour was not that bad.

You often saw him on his porch as he kept playing the guitar in the evening and in the morning when he drank his morning coffee. He did not seem to pay much attention to you, though, and maybe it was the best option. He did not like you, but at least, he was not making it harder for you. 

There was also this teenage girl with him, Ellie. She had to be his daughter because he almost did not step away from her most of the time, watching carefully everyone who got closer to her. However, there was also a possibility she was not his daughter as she kept calling him by name, but even if she was not, he cared for her as if she was.

She managed to talk to you once, but your conversation did not last long as Joel intervened the second he spotted you two talking in front of your house. 

Not that you talked about anything serious. 

Ellie simply tried to be friendly, asking you about your calf, and generally, how you liked Jackson so far. 

Everyone else tried to be friendly to you, too. Well, except Joel. You did not know what his problem was, but you did not dare to ask him, either. You did not want a confrontation with someone who had been hostile towards you from the very start.

“You seem cool,” Ellie had said right before Joel called her. “Don’t worry about Joel. He’ll come around.”

“Do you have any idea what his problem is? He keeps glaring at me whenever he sees me,” you responded, and she chuckled at your words.

“He’s not glaring,” she returned. “You haven’t seen Joel’s glare. He’s more... watching than glaring, I assure you.” 

Well, even if he was simply watching you, he was doing it disturbingly. Before you asked Ellie whether he was watching every newcomer the way he was watching you, she had hurried to her house not wanting Joel to call her again.

At least, he did not make a scene.

He just kept watching, and so, you were.

* * *

“What can I get you, Hope?” Seth asked you the other day when you came to the bar in the early morning. The man who approached you was a man in his mid-fifties, grey hair was already visible on his head, and he was known as a cooker and a bartender in a place called  _ Tipsy Bison _ . 

“A black coffee,” you replied. “Do you have a spare sandwich by any chance, too?” You sent him a gentle smile, and he returned it immediately.

“I think I have one for you. The one with tomato, cucumber and lettuce will be fine?” he questioned, pouring some coffee into the cup and placing it in front of you.

“It’ll be perfect,” you said once he put the cup in front of you. “Thank you.”

“I’ll bring you a sandwich in a minute,” Seth told you then, disappeared behind the doors of the kitchen. 

You nodded then took a sip of coffee from the cup. You were patiently waiting for Seth’s return while suddenly, Tommy stormed into the bar, followed by his older brother. They were shouting at each other, one louder than the other and it every one in a mile radius could tell that something had happened between them. It had to be something more than just a brotherly fight. 

"You know what, Tommy? I'm so sick of you telling me what should and what shouldn't I do. You can't control everything and everyone in this place!"

“You’re right, I can’t, but Maria can! Do you really think she will let you go alone on patrol just because you don’t want to come with me? You know the rules—”

"I don't care what Maria will do--"

“You two have nothing better to do in the morning?” Seth asked both of them once he stepped out of the kitchen. “If you want to argue over some nonsense, go somewhere else!” He rolled up his eyes as he turned back to you, and handed you the sandwich. “There you go, Hope.”

“Thanks, Seth,” you responded quietly and managed to take a bite of it when Tommy noticed you sitting by the bar. 

“Hey, Hope,” he greeted you, sitting beside you and leaning against the counter. 

“Hey, Tommy,” you returned, feeling Joel’s eyes on you as he kept watching his brother talking to you. “Rough morning?”

“You can say so,” he smiled at you gently. “How about you? I see you feel much better.”

“I do,” you agreed. “I can’t feel the last time I feel this good.”

“Good enough to go on patrol?”

“With you? Or Joel?” you asked back, feeling where he was going with his question. “Either way, I’ve never been on patrol before. Maria told me the other day how it works, the rules and all, but I didn’t have a chance to go.”

“There always has to be the first time, right?” he continued. “No better candidate than Joel,” Tommy turned towards the other man. Joel stepped closer and you could see he did not like the idea.

“I’m not going with her,” Joel stated harshly. 

“You really want to piss off Maria, don’t you?”

“I assure you, no one annoys her as much as you do.”

“You’ll definitely beat me up in this “ _ Who annoys Maria more? _ ” competition if you act against the rules, Joel,” Tommy fired back, pissed by his brother’s behaviour. “Don’t make it harder than it really is.”

“Can you use a gun and ride a horse, Hope?” Joel asked reluctantly. 

“Yes, and yes,” you responded, surprised when Joel turned towards you. You did not expect things to turn out this way, yet you did not want to make the whole situation worse than it already was. Even you, the person who was in Jackson just for a few weeks, knew better not to mess with Maria when it came to the rules.

“Come on then,” he said in a commanding tone. “I’m taking you on the patrol if that’s fine with you.”

“It's fine,” you told him, “as long as it’s fine with you, too.”

Joel let out a small chuckle, then headed out before Tommy could interject anything he did not want to hear. You said goodbye to Tommy then followed Joel outside, trying to keep up with him. He was not talking, and you did not want to be the first to start the conversation, so you both were marching side by side in silence. Once you reached the stable, Joel prepared the horses for you both, and once he was done, he handed you the reins, along with the gun.

“Her name is  _ Sugar _ ,” he said while you hung the shotgun on your shoulder and studied the chestnut brown horse. “God, I really hope you  _ can _ shoot.”

“Hey,  _ Sugar _ ,” you brushed your horse's blonde mane then, you mounted her, joining Joel, who was already on top of his dark bay horse. “As I said earlier, I  _ can _ . So, where are we heading?”

“We have a few patrol spots,” Joel replied as you began riding towards the main gate. “Tommy and I usually go to one nearby and considering it’s your first time on patrol… I think we should go there, too. No need to go any further today, anyway.”

“I’ve been living outside the walls for a long time,” you countered. “Just so you know, I’m not scared of being out there, Joel.”

“And yet, you decided to stay in Jackson.” Joel fired back and caught you off guard. “Let’s get going," he added quickly, seeing you did not expect to hear such words from him.

“Open up the gate!” he shouted once you stopped in front of it.

A moment later, when the doors opened, you rode out of Jackson, quickly disappearing into the woods.


	4. Patrol

You and Joel kept riding through the woods that were illuminated by the strands of morning light. The air was cold, but also refreshing; it was a sign that the autumn has already settled in for good and it would stay with you for the next months. 

The silence was only disturbed by the sound of hooves, hitting the hard ground. A silence that was so overwhelming, you could not bear it after some time and decided to break it.

“What’s your problem with me, Joel?” you asked out of sudden, hoping you would eventually get an answer for a question that had been bothering you for days. When he did not respond, completely ignoring the question you had asked him, you decided to go with another one. “Alright. You don’t want to tell me, so be it, but what was it about with Tommy?”

Again, he did not respond.

“Do you know it’s rude to ignore someone else's questions?” You were not planning on giving up any time soon. Since you two were already out there just in two, you had to use this opportunity. “Do you keep ignoring everyone in your presence?”

“Do you always ask so many questions?” he eventually asked you back. “We’re not here to talk but to patrol the area,” Joel added, giving you a cold look. “Focus on that.”

You did not say anything in return. Your hands tightened on the rains and you followed Joel’s command. There was probably not a single soul in a mile radius, but you kept looking carefully ahead, so you would not miss a thing.

A part of you was angry Joel brushed you off like that, but at the same time, you did not blame him. He did not know you. He did not want to be out there with you, and if it was not for Tommy, Joel would never go on patrol with you; with a woman he most likely despised. Not that he did not have a right to feel this way for you, but you wanted to know the reason why he felt the way he did. You did not do anything to him, so why was he treating you as if you did?

“We’re almost there,” Joel said suddenly. “See this cabin up there? It’s one of our spots. There’s a notebook inside, so when we arrive there we have to sign it and that’s basically it.”

“Basically?” you questioned, taking a closer look at the cabin. 

“Have you seen anything disturbing on our way? Infected? Trespassers?”

“No.” 

“So, everything is fine and you have nothing to worry about. It’s a way that’s supposed to be,” he explained, and for the first time since you had left Jackson, he turned his head towards you.

“What if there was something wrong?”

“Well, you can take deal with it on your own,” he responded, “or if you can’t, you go back to Jackson.”

You nodded, letting him know you understood. A moment later, you both dismounted your horses and left them in front of the old, wooden cabin. You entered it carefully and looked around, but there was not much inside. An old, worn-out, brown sofa was standing in the corner and right next to it, there was a wooden desk with an open notebook on it. 

“I’ll write down our names,” Joel said as he walked by you. 

“Okay,” you replied quietly and joined him once he finished writing. “Hope and Joel,” you read out loud what he had written down. “It sounds nice, don’t you think?” you teased just to see his reaction, and he huffed in response. “My first patrol… I’ll always remember the day when I was ignored every few seconds by a man who found it hard to answer a few simple questions.”

“You’re really annoying, you know?” Joel rolled up his eyes after he had put the pencil down. “With all these questions you keep asking.”

“Come on,” you whined. “Is it so hard to tell me why you despise me so much?”

“You really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

“I don’t despise you,” he told you. “I don’t think you belong in Jackson, though. You appeared from god knows where and messed with my brother’s head. You keep acting as if everything is normal, but let me tell you - it’s far from it.”

“Thanks for reminding me I don’t belong here. For the record, I don’t think I belong anywhere, so it’s not even surprising, but if you think I’m messing with your brother’s head or keep acting as if any of these was normal, you’re wrong. I was just trying to be grateful for everything your brother did for me.”

“Watch out not to be _too_ grateful,” Joel puffed. “You have to know he likes you, right? He’s been drooling over you since the day he brought you here.”

“Has he? I didn’t notice.”

“Maybe you should’ve paid more attention to it.”

“Or maybe I shouldn’t bother? I know you don’t think of me well, but let me get something straight - I have morals and I respect Maria and Tommy enough not to get into this kind of thing,” you said, maybe in a too angry tone, but he got on your nerves with his assumptions. “What were you arguing about with Tommy this morning? Was it about me?”

“No.”

“You don’t sound convincing,” you pointed, “but I won’t dwell on it. It doesn’t matter.” You looked down on your brown trappers that were contrasting with your light jeans. With a sleeve of your dark blue, flannel shirt you wiped out the tears that had just fallen on your cheek and raised your sight, not wanting to seem even more pathetic. 

However, Joel noticed this moment of weakness you just had. “Hey, I didn’t mean—”

“I asked for it,” you interjected, not wanting him to feel bad for you. “I just… I think I wasn’t ready to realise you think of me this poorly.” A sigh escaped your mouth and a moment later, you got yourself together. “Anyway, shouldn’t we go back to Jackson? The route was clear, we signed down. Is there anything else we need to do?”

“No, that’s it,” he responded. “Listen, I didn’t mean to offend you. I just… It’s complicated. I don’t usually trust people I just met.”

“You didn’t offend me,” you assured him, brushing back your hair. “I think it’s always complicated, but people are not always that bad.”

“Tommy seems to get that,” you added when you did not get a reply, “while you can’t.”

“Yeah, Tommy seems to get everything,” Joel responded with irony in his voice. “I’m not Tommy, though. You have no idea what I’ve been through since it all started.”

“You have no idea what I’ve been through, either,” you countered. “Let’s go back, okay? I don’t want to argue out here.”

“You’re right, I have no clue what you’ve been through, but I’m not expecting you to accept me and pretend you like me.”

“I don’t have to pretend, even though you’re making it so hard to like you,” you blurted, finding it hard to control yourself at this point. 

“Let’s go back to Jackson,” he replied, pretending he did not hear what you just said, but you decided not to continue this conversation. 

Once you and Joel left the cabin, you mounted your horses and rode away, not wasting time chatting. The road back to Jackson was just as calm as it had been before, so after more or less thirty minutes, you reached the gates of the settlement. 

Joel left as soon as he possibly could while you stayed in the stable, taking some time to brush Sugar's mane and gather your thoughts that seemed to be in a complete mess after what had happened out there, on patrol. 

However, this calm moment did not last long.

“Oh, you’re back already,” Maria said when she entered the stable. “How was your first patrol?”

“It was alright. I’m not sure whether Joel shares my opinion, but for me, it was good to be back out there… For a while,” you responded, still brushing your horse's mane. “I never thought I would get used to one place so quickly… It’s just nice to have a space to sleep at night and to not be afraid someone would show up out of nowhere.”

“I’m glad you’re adapting,” she stated shortly because apparently, there were more interesting things she wanted to talk with you about. “I’ve heard about what happened at _Tipsy Bison_ this morning. Seth told me.”

“Yeah, that… That was intense.”

“I don’t know what’s gotten into Tommy lately. He usually doesn’t argue with Joel… Not that rough, at least.”

“Maybe they were just arguing. You know, they’re brothers,” you returned, slowly realising where she was going with this conversation. 

Maria did not respond at first. She approached Sugar then caressed her back while watching you carefully. “Listen, Hope, I don’t want it to sound weird or paranoid, but… Is there something between you and my husband?”

You did not think she would be this direct, though.

“No, of course not,” you responded immediately. “I mean, I like Tommy, he’s always been kind to me, but that’s it. I really like Joel, though, but don’t tell him that.” You had no idea why you had said that, but at that moment, you were not thinking clearly. “I’m sure he doesn't like me at all.”

Maria’s face lightened up, and her attitude seemed to change within a second when she found out you were interested in someone else. It did not matter whether it was the truth or not. What mattered was it was not Tommy who you were interested in.

“Joel? For real? Hope, from all men in Jackson you had to pick the grumpiest one,” she chuckled and from the tone of her voice, you could hear she was surprised. “On the other hand, a woman like you would do him good. Maybe he would eventually cheer up a bit.”

“Maybe.” You smiled awkwardly but tried your best to remain calm. “Still, it’s nothing serious, Maria. He and I… We don’t even know each other well. It’s just…”

“Oh, I get you,” she interjected and returned the smile. “I’m sorry I even started this conversation, but I had to make sure what people were talking about was just a stupid gossip.”

“What were people talking about?” 

“Well, basically they were talking about Tommy and you,” she explained, “but as usual, they were just making some theories that were not true at all. I mean, why would they even think something was between you? Because you were out on a walk a few times?”

“We were just chatting,” you assured her, putting the brush away, “but people love to gossip, don’t they?”

“They definitely do,” Maria agreed and a gentle smile appeared on her face. “Now I feel like a complete idiot for doubting you. It’s just… Tommy and I have a worse time and…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Maria,” you quickly cut her off. “I understand your concern and if it helped you, I’m glad you asked.”

“Thank you.” She had looked at you briefly before she added: “If you would ever like to talk about… You know, Joel or someone else, you know where to find me.”

“I know, but I don’t think there will be a need to talk about anyone any time soon.”

“You don’t know that,” she winked at you, and it seemed like she already forgot why she came to you in the first place. You did not blame her, though. She was afraid of her marriage, and if you were in her shoes, you would be worried, too. 

Maybe Joel was right when he advised you not to be too friendly to his brother because he was definitely too friendly to you. However, you did not want to think about it too much, and focused on your work. 

Maria left a moment after she had winked at you, so you were again on your own. You quickly finished brushing Sugar and left the stable, realising it was almost noon. Everyone seemed to be minding their business when out of a sudden, you saw Joel and Tommy running around and talking to people, acting as if something happened. 

In fact, something did happen.

“There you are, Hope,” Tommy said once he ran towards you. "Have you seen Ellie?"

“No, I haven’t seen her since yesterday," you returned, noticing he and Joel were pretty worried. "Why? What’s going on?”

“She’s not home and no one knows where she is,” he replied, and this nervous atmosphere instantly overwhelmed you. The sight of Joel’s concerned face was even more disturbing, especially since you had never seen him worried. 

“I’m sure we’ll find her,” you told Tommy, trying to sound confident. “Tell Joel I’ll keep my eyes open and if I find her I’ll let you both know.”

“Alright. Thanks, Hope,” Tommy stated then returned to Joel, occupied with searching for any clues about the missing girl. 

You hurried home, put down the gun Joel had given you earlier, and immediately left. Not knowing where to start your search, but willing to help them both, you picked the first place that came to your mind: the walls. 

That was where you decided to go first. 


End file.
